Welcome to my new blog. I chose WordPress because, well, it was the first link I clicked on and I’m incredibly lazy so there you have it. Just the way it works in the brain of a genius! No, there will be no modesty here.
If you are new to my blogs then I must tell you the rules:
1. What you read is who I am. I don’t fake it and I bring my real life into things quite a bit.
2. I am a geek to the order of a magnitude of 10. There will be numerous references to nerd shit and geek inside jokes. You’ll like it, trust me. Shhhh, relax…it’s okay.
3. You may disagree with me. I’m not here to get my ass kissed.
4. I write this stuff with the assumption that no one is ever going to read it.
5. There will be much ranting…mostly about geek shit. You won’t understand even half of it, trust me. Read enough of it and I will guide you into the glorious world of awesome nerdery.
Now that has been established, on to my ranty goodness-
I have an issue with rude douchebaggery. I received a solicitation phone call from a healthcare organization trying to sell me health insurance and the guy on the other end of the phone was a complete prick and a half. I imagine his mother had a shitty pair of tits and didn’t breastfeed him or he didn’t get the toy he wanted that one time for Christmas. Perhaps his girlfriend won’t suck on his sweatyballs like they do in the pornos he juggles his tallywacker to. Anyway, he was quite a cock.
“What’d he say Selles?!”
When I told him I wasn’t at all interested in what he was trying to sell, telling him that I thought I was applying for Medicare and mistakenly filled out one of those bullshit ‘get a free quote’ deals, he said…”Alright, well, good luck with your heart attack then!”
…………………… (Those dots are standing in for blinding rage I was experiencing)
Now, I’m not normally a guy who gets all bunched up over too many things, but I will turn into a Jules Winfield ‘mushroom cloud-layin’ motherfucker’ manning the ‘Guns of Navarone’ when you are blatantly rude to me in such a manner. You don’t know me chief. You have no idea who I am or what my situation is. If you had said that to me in person I would have punched you in your sack and beaten the shit out of you. Of course, he wouldn’t have said that to my face because people who say things like that on the phone are complete cowards…perhaps even Republican!
He hung up of course before I could mount my offensive. So I called back and got a nice lady named….shit, I forget, but she was nice. I told her that this dude, whose name I forget also (as you have deduced, I am terribly horrible with names)-we’ll call him Douchebagatron, was fucking uber rude to me and said what he said. She of course spouted the company line. Something about “uncalled for, we don’t tolerate blah, you have every right to be angry blah, your dick must be massive you handsome man.” Okay, that last one she didn’t say. Just checking if you’re paying attention.
It wasn’t about what she said or anything. I just called back to vent to someone. I kept it relatively clean because she was a lady and not the offending party. Had I got Douchebagatron back it would have gone something like……..
Me: “Douchebagatron, your evil mouth has gone too far this time. You must be stopped, no matter the cost. I will break you and eliminate your evil scourge from this earth! One shall stand, one shall fall!”
Douchebagatron: “MWA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Selles Prime (cause I’d totally be Optimus, but cooler and much geekier), you cannot hope to stop me and my minions, the Insuracons!!!” (Yes, I know that name sucks, but you come up with this crap on the fly and see how you do, ok?)
Where I was going with that I don’t know, but my mind needs help so we’ll leave it at that and move on. My point is, that kind of attitude is so ugly and unnecessary, yet it’s how the world is today. People refrain from speaking up when it matters that they hold it in and spew it on people when it really doesn’t and is definitely uncalled for. Perhaps if he’d washed his bait and tackle his chick would have gone balls deep. Maybe he doesn’t have a woman. Maybe his Xbox broke. Whatever, still no need to be rude.
So this sucked eh? Whatever. No one is gonna read it. This is just therapy for me.