You are probably wondering about that title. What the deuce is Chocolate Machismo talking about now? I’m talking about….
Zooey Deschanel. Ok, not her specifically. She didn’t do anything other than be hot and infinitely boneable. What I mean by a holey grail phallacy is that she has become a poster girl for guys chasing the geek dream….a geek woman. You know the type. Hot, cute, funny, likes the same nerd shit you do, and most importantly, she wants to get without clothes with you and makey the nerd beast with you while wearing your Hulk hands. Every nerd man who loves women hopes to find a girl like this. They exist, but you’re already too late.
Sure, there are really hot nerd women out there that look like Olivia Munn and Zooey Deschanel, but they end up with guys like you and I never. Why not?! What’s missing?!
Oh, right, money.
Now this isn’t doom and gloom here. You geek men can find wonderful nerd women who will blow your Iron Man socks off. We just need to pay attention to the ladies that pay attention to us. Stop looking for your own nerd holey grail. Stop looking for your own Tricia Helfer who HAS TO BE EXACTLY WHAT YOU ALWAYS DREAMED YOU WANTED, and open up to the potential of all the really horny and lonely nerd women who you most likely dismiss regularly. Does this mean you should settle? Noooo. Just stop looking for the fantasy version of what you want. You might even find a…GASP….regular chick. WHAAAAAAAT?!
This isn’t Fringe. Olivia Dunham doesn’t exist. So get off that wall, let your balls descend, and get out there and talk to a real woman you might not normally talk to.
But I’m betting you don’t so get to it! Why the title Holey Grail Phallacy? Come on guys, you have penises. Figure it out. And if any ladies are reading this, I hope to God you don’t have a penis. It’s such a curse!!!!!! All that peeing standing up is terrible!
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I’m lying. Having a penis is the fucking business! I can’t even pretend that it isn’t awesome.