The Declaration of Geekdependence


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People ask me why I am doing this. Why am I chasing down this dream of becoming a professional, paid geek entertainer, podcaster, and voice actor? Where did you get this drive to do what needs to be done to make it happen?

To answer that question, I have to go back to July 6th, 1975, when I was born to Carolyn and Donald Coe. That was a year of the rabbit in the Chinese Zodiac. Why does that matter? Well, the traits of men born in the year of the rabbit are:

“…those who always treat people politely, with a gentle smile that makes people feel that they are credible and sincere. When meeting trouble, Rabbits can handle it in an orderly way; when encountering tough difficulties they are never discouraged, but are persistent to seek solutions. So they eventually achieve enviable success.”

Enviable success?  I like that.

So I’m totally destined for greatness?

Perhaps, but having those traits doesn’t guarantee anything. I still needed the nurturing and the constant push to speak up, to do the right things by people, to make them laugh, to make them happy. I credit my mother with this, the toughest woman I have ever known. She came from South Central Los Angeles and could survive almost anything. She showed my sister and I how to take life’s punches and punch back. I never saw her complain or quit, and she had every right and reason to. I used to ask her why she never gave up. My mother always said, “Baby, I never was given the choice. I have you and your sister. You need me.” She loved my voices I made and how I made her laugh, and fed my burgeoning geekiness. She encouraged me to be me. She said if I could overcome my shyness, I could do wonders with what she says God has gifted me.

I always thought I was ugly and odd shaped. I would hide and make my voice small, freezing up when I had to speak in class or give a presentation. I sneaked silently through school, only really being myself around my trusted friends. They had always told me, “Your voice is great! You should do radio! Cartoons! Something! You could be the new Movie Trailer Guy! You are funny, seriously. You can do it!” I would say, “No, I’m nowhere near as talented as Don LaFontaine!”  They’d say, “Who?” I would roll my eyes, “How do you not know who that is?!”  I just didn’t think I was worthy of the success I craved, the goal I desired. I thought that my heart disease, low self esteem, and size wouldn’t allow me to be anything other than invisible.


After the deaths of too many friends and family before their time, including my mother and father, I realized there was no right moment. I had to push myself to believe I had talent and, most importantly, that I was worthy of success. I had to make it happen. I had to make it the right moment. So with that in my heart and the integral help of my brothers Timmy Stewart, Alex Trevino, we formed The GeekVengers. We started small with local conventions here and there locally, did some videos, and had a blast. They gave me the mic and put me out front. “Use your natural humor and charisma! Fuck the fear!” I did just that and at our very first convention we met and interviewed Jennifer “Lil Bit” Adams.  I had no idea at the time how that singular event would chart the course of my life going forward. 4 years later, with some heartbreaking subtractions and some wonderful additions like Adam Garcia, Courtney Goodrum, The Blurred Nerds Podcast, and GVTV, we are going strong and growing stronger.

This is my calling. This is my focus. This is my destiny.

No quitting.

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Words, Feely Words.


Hello and salutations to you, my geek brethren and normals! How are you? Good! Anyway, sorry I don’t blog enough. I mean to, but I’m such a procrastinator.

I was out tonight having dinner with a close friend of 20+ years and the subject of relationships came up. We went on about how tangled and deep we get when we find someone we feel is worthy of giving our love to. He, like me, is a Cancer. We live for being able to care for and watch over others. We are unrepentant romantics at our core. We are honest men and very forthright. Sadly, that has not been a great attribute as of late. So much so that both of us are semi-retired from seeking love and a relationship. I’m not going to speak for him, but my reasons are simple.

I think I’m kinda terrible at it.

I am a deeply honest person. I’ve never been a good liar and I never will be. I take pride in that. I used to think that it would be a benefit to me in a good relationship. I hear it’s what women all ask for. Honesty? I has that! Humor? I has that, too!!! Handsome, big, black, and charming? Check, check, check, and check!!!! Total package, right? Hmmm, so far, no. You see, I am honest probably to my own detriment. I want to be straightforward with anyone I get involved with and the women I have met lately don’t cotton to that so much. That’s the part I am terrible at. I fall in love with being in love and perhaps it puts me into overdrive and that’s what freaks women out. Now I purposely move really slow and take my time, and it is really difficult. I must fight the screaming crazy person inside my heart at every turn. 🙂

Now here’s the part I can’t control…

A little history for you- I have non-ischemic cardiomyopathy. Huh? Layman’s terms? My heart is defective and I take all manner of medication to regulate it and make so I don’t die. I like not dying. It’s my life goal. So, when I do get involved with a woman and I like her, I am sure that she knows the score. Not on the first date or anything, but usually when I am comfortable sharing such info. They almost always run away like King Arthur’s men in Monty Python’s Holy Grail. I’m not asking them to take care of me or watch out for me or any of that shit. I can do it on my own and have been for many years before you and I’ll do it for many years after you, thank you. I share out of total honesty. Perhaps I’m just meeting the wrong women.

For this situation I really don’t think there is a right one, though. The fear of getting involved with someone, falling in love, and having them die on you is strong. I understand, but just so you know, I have no plans of dying anytime soon. Could I? Sure, but we all could. Enjoy your life as it is now and worry less about what will possibly be.I suppose it also has to just do with hard-wired human instincts. People want to be with others who exude healthy qualities. No matter how much I work out or try to take care of myself, I am a damaged specimen and I will always bear the scars of that. Can’t worry or obsess about what you can’t control. so I’m semi-retired from all of that. It’s made my life easier. Do I get lonely? Sure. Do I still love naked women? Duh, yeah!!!!!! Do I long for companionship? Of course I do, I’m human. I want the togetherness and closeness of loving love like many do. I remember watching my mom live alone after my dad left. I wish I had spoken with her more about her true feelings. I’m sure her wisdom and her strength would have been immensely helpful now. I had no idea that I would be in a similar situation years later.  

It has taken me a few years to really be in the right frame of mind for something like this. I could not have been this kind of man in my twenties. I could not have been this kind of man even 4 years ago. Wisdom is a hell of a thing. Don’t feel sorry for me. That’s not what the goal of this blog entry is. I guess it’s just personal therapy. I’m not saying that I am closed to meeting someone special. I am open to it. I always will be, but the difference now is that hooking up or meeting a woman isn’t my first goal when I go out somewhere. Honestly, it never should have been. That’s not to say Chocolate Machismo isn’t going to be panty-dropping charming, though. That’s just innate skill, my friends. You can’t turn that off. 😉

The operative word in that paragraph was ‘special’. I want to meet someone I can truly know and who can see who I am underneath all the on-camera bravado and the gregarious ebullience. Until then, I’m focused on my work with The Geekvengers, being the best geek I can, being the best friend I can, improving the world in my own little way, improving myself physically and mentally, and being educated by the world.

All Your Base Are Belong to Love


The series of guest bloggers continues with one of my new geek friends, Kimberly Hall, and her take on what geek love means and why it can differ from muggle love. Shit, that sounds like the name of a band. “Coming to the stage…please welcome… MUGGLE LOOOOOOOOOOOOVE!!!!” So please take some time to read this quickie. As always, come check us out at The Geekvengers or Geekvengers.com. We have a group on Facebook and yes, you may join if you feel that you are nerdy enough. Now, from what I have seen of Kimberly and her relationship with her other nerd half, it’s all very disgustingly sweet, loving nerd love. It could give you diabeetus.

And…away….we……GO….

 

I googled geek love and this came up. God, if I could get a woman to do this, I would shit bricks of rainbows and puppies. Now, if I could just get a woman…..

 

 

Geek love? When two nerds stumble upon each other and fall into the nerdy goodness that is love. What’s more nerdy than being in love? Nothing! At its core, being a nerd is being unafraid of showing extraordinary enthusiasm and adoration. It’s about being vulnerable and silly and without limits. Sounds like love to me.

Someone set us up the bomb! Bomb being sweet, sweet, nerdy luuuurrrrrrrv.

 
Geek love isn’t about finding another nerd who geeks out about the same stuff you do. It’s about finding someone who revels in all that is nerdy, geeky, and goofy with you. For example, I don’t read a lot of the superhero style comics (i.e. your Spider-Man, your Green Lantern, etc…). It’s just not my thing. However, when my own nerd of choice gets a new Thor costume in the mail, what other response could I have than OMFG PUT IT ON RIGHT NOW LET’S TAKE PICTURES!!! YOU EVEN HAVE ENOUGH BEARD TO PULL OFF THOR! YOU’RE TOTALLY A NORSE GOD! Because that’s what nerds do. They delight in the extraordinary. They have no problem with suspending reality and enjoying play.

I shall show her my Mjolnir later and we will rejoice!!! VERILY!!! FORSOOTH!!!!

The best part of geek love is the comfort you have in each other and the joy that comes from the union of two playful people. You don’t think twice about running up to the cardboard cut out at the movie theater and excitedly handing your phone to your partner to get your picture with Theodore the Chipmunk, because he reminds you to make sure you get the Theodore beanie baby you have in your purse in the shot. You don’t hesitate suggesting a Mega Man rock opera concert date because your geek darling would never turn down a costumed spectacle show NOR a rock opera, even if she knows nothing about Mega Man.

Yes, there are indeed enough drugs for this to happen.

It’s the mutual agreement of “Yes! Let’s do it!” that comes in so many forms. OF COURSE the cat needs a Batman costume. How could we NOT join hundreds of other people dressed as zombies and swarm the Alamo?!?! We MUST google this movie/director/actor trivia RIGHT EFFING NOW. Not that geek love is perfect or without the same issues other kinds of couples face. It’s not. I just happen to be biased and think that nerds, who care more about a lot of things deeply to the point of the mystification of non-nerds, have a really great capacity for love.

BECAUSE. WE. FUCKING. CAN. THAT’S WHY.

 

 

Thank you, Kimberly! That was very poignant and heartfelt. The part about dressing up the cat is a little odd, but we all do crazy things for love! Geek love, especially.

IT’S A TRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP! A LOOOOOOOVE TRAP.

 

And who doesn’t wanna be in the kind of love that let’s you dress as motherfucking Admiral Ackbar on your wedding day?!!!!!